What’s your superpower? Identify strengths that make you unique, special

SUN PRAIRIE, Wis. — Confidence is a muscle that is built over time.

“Confidence is not a light switch, but if you make it something you practice, you will start to build new habits,” said Leanne Pottinger, coach and facilitator for neuroSHIFT, a company that offers leadership development programs.

“Confidence for me is the belief in who I am, knowing what I care about and the ability to be myself no matter what situation I’m in,” said Pottinger during the Compeer Financial Women’s Seminar. “It is the understanding that the most rewarding and precious things in life sometimes come with an element of risk.”

“For me, confidence is believing in myself that I’ll figure it out and find a way,” said Jacquie Stephens, founder of neuroSHIFT, who also spoke during the virtual seminar.

“We can all get our confidence rocked in different situations and the power comes from knowing what those situations are,” Stephens said.

There are many reasons why people lack confidence and often it is situational, Pottinger said.

“Those reasons can include excessive expectations or perfectionism, harsh self-judgment, preoccupation with fear, lack of experience or lack of skill,” Pottinger said.

“The brain has two functional states — reward and threat,” she said. “We run toward reward and away from threat.”

The threat response is far more intense, Pottinger said.

“For me, I’m rewarded by being here today to talk about something I really care about, but I’m also feeling stress to make sure everything goes well,” she said.

“There is five times more neural circuitry in our brains dedicated to identifying and mitigating threats, so we are naturally predisposed to having a negativity bias,” Pottinger said.

“That can show up as negative self talk that leads our brains to obstacles,” she said. “It can lead to self judgment and unfavorable comparisons to others who are better, have it easier or have more talent.”

“We only have three options when we’re in threat response — fight, flight or freeze,” Stephens said. “I’m a fighter, but in other situations I will shut down completely.”

Trauma happens when there is too much, too soon and too fast.

“It doesn’t have to be a big, life-changing event, but if you’ve had trauma in your life in any way, you’re going to naturally tend towards worst-case scenarios,” Pottinger said.

“Values have a massive impact on your confidence because they impact your thinking, which affects your emotions and drives your words, actions and behaviors,” she said. “Values can help push you to acting when you aren’t confident, but they can get in the way of your voice.”

Stephens and Pottinger encourage everyone to identify a confidence quote that they can use in their daily lives.

“I love the quote from Teddy Roosevelt, ‘Believe you can and you’re half way there,’” Pottinger said. “There’s a choice you have and accountability for your own confidence.”

“We encounter so many adults that cringe at the word failure, so we’re on a mission to desensitize it,” Stephens said. “Probably the greatest gift you could give a child is the ability to be okay with failure because it will totally change their confidence level.”

Everyone should write down their greatest strengths, including the things that make each person unique and special, Pottinger said.

“The act of writing down your superpower is a great way to start to imbed the things that you bring to the table,” she said. “When you weave it into everything you do, that will build the confidence level.”

“When you know you’ve got strengths, that makes going into situations a little bit easier,” Stephens said. “One of my greatest strengths is I perform very well under pressure.”

Work on something every day, such as eliminating the negative self talk, Pottinger said.

“At the end of every day I write down three things I’m proud of, so I end the day on a high note,” she said. “You have an impact on somebody’s life every day, so it’s a matter of writing it down and starting to recognize it.”

A daily act of courage gives a person a bit of dopamine hit, which is a chemical released in the brain.

“When you get a little win, that can really boost your confidence,” Pottinger said. “It could be trying a new recipe, styling your hair in a different way or complimenting a stranger.”

“Raising the awareness is critical for the areas that cause you to lack in confidence,” Stephens said. “The awareness gives you choice to do something different and practice the good stuff. When you do that, change will happen, you just need to stick with it.”